I want to talk to you about a very sacred thing that unites us all as women and with the cycles of nature and the planets. It’s something I’ve been studying and diving into on my own journey over the past several years, and I’ve been a little nervous to talk about here.
I’m talking about your moon cycle, or period.
Perhaps when you read the word “period”, you shudder or want to click off this page. Maybe it brings to mind the feelings of pain, embarrassment, frustration, and messiness.
I’m here to tell you that I get it.
In this society, we are taught that periods are a nuisance and something to be “managed" as much as possible.
I have a friend who calls it her “monthly hell”.
I have another friend whose high school boyfriend said she smelled weird and was a “lunatic” when she was menstruating.
But I’m here to tell you that, after years of hating my period, I have come to see it as a beautiful and sacred part of being a woman.
Something that represents our connection with the monthly phases of the moon, the tides, and symbolizes our fertility as beings who create life (which is a dang miracle if you ask me).
In many ancient civilizations, a woman’s moon time was treated as a sacred moment each month where she would take pause from her usual duties to tend to her bleeding body and pamper it in its tenderness. Are you familiar with the book, The Red Tent? It's a good read.
I didn’t always feel that my moon time was a special thing.
I was put on birth control early in my teenage years (to treat acne), which resulted in irregular bleeding, unpredictable hormonal swings, and intense physical pain. My doctors jumped me from birth control option to birth control option to try to get “ahead” of my symptoms, and finally settled one that eliminated my period altogether. I was thrilled at that idea. No more monthly misery and messiness for me to deal with.
For the next 7 years of my life, for the most part I relished in the fact that I didn’t have to deal with the nuisance of bleeding every month.
I was a free and modern woman…until I started to feel strange.
Disconnected from the magic of my feminine nature, like a limb had been cut off from me.
I found myself in conversations with woman around fertility and moon cycle care, and I had nothing to say about it. I didn’t bleed every month. I had no idea what phase of my cycle I was in. It saddened me. I suddenly longed to feel like a fully-embodied woman. One who could feel her connection to the moon and the ebbs and flows of the different phases of her cycle.
So I made a decision to go off hormonal birth control and delve into a journey of self-discovery with my moon cycle.
I’ve been studying everything from herbal remedies to alternative birth control methods to nutritional methods for reducing PMS. I have been learning about ancient rituals to honor one’s moon time and meeting incredible women who have made it their life’s work to help sisters make peace with their periods once again.
I have naturalized my monthly cycle in a way that feels beautiful and honoring of my individual feminine body. I feel more intuitive and more centered as a woman. I have deepened my connection to my body, to the planet, and to my fellow women all around the world.
I love talking about this stuff, and have found so many women are dying to have the conversation too. To share their experience with their period and their hormones.
A few weeks back, I made a video asking my newsletter subscribers to share their experiences with their periods and what questions they had about it. Some of the comments I got were:
- I’ve never had a good relationship with my period and I don’t know how to change it.
- I have very heavy flow so finding a way to handle that has always been a problem.
- I have heard tampons aren’t good for you, and would like to know about alternatives that really work.
- My periods have always been painful with intense cramps and I’d like a more natural way to deal with it.
- I’ve heard eating certain foods can help with my periods and I’d like to know more about that.
Welcome to the Moon Cycle Series on The Dabblist.
For the next two weeks, I’ll be covering different aspects of your moon cycle - ranging from nutrition to herbal care to healthy menstrual products to celebration rituals - all with the intention of healing your relationship with your period. I’ve asked several experts to chime in with their advice and expertise, which I’m super excited about.
It’s time to change the story on periods. Tune in on Thursday, when we’re going to talk about the 4 phases of your cycle and how to leverage them in every area of your life from energy to sex to productivity.
What’s your relationship with your period? Have you found any tips that have been super helpful to you? Share them in the comments below so we can keep the conversation going.
Thanks for covering this. I’ve become more intrigued by the “moon cycle” idea. I have not had a period in I don’t know when…no birth control, but I know it’s a hormonal issue. My cycles were always ‘off’, but not having one, as convenient as it is…concerns me, as I know it’s not natural. I’m not concerned with fertility. I am overweight, and know that’s a main component to my lack of a regular cycle. A holistic health coach recommended tracking with the moon cycles earlier this year, but I’m confused about what to track and when since I don’t have a period. I’m currently reading WomanCode, and it’s been very enlightening. She also mentioned lunar tracking, but still not sure what I’m tracking. Looking forward to seeing what you cover over the next couple weeks.
Oh Marilyn, thank you so much for sharing your story! Bravo for engaging in the conversation. WomanCode is an excellent book. I’m actually talking about it on Thursday. As for tracking your cycles, there are a few ways you can do it: looking for subtle clues in your energy and eating according to the FLO protocol in the book, tracking your discharge, or getting a basal thermometer. I’m super excited for the wink to come out in the fall: https://kindara.com/wink
I’m so glad you are in this conversation and committed to better understanding your body’s natural rhythms. Sending you so much love!
Becca, what an amazing topic! You have such a beauty in the way you express yourself- you really feel a sense of connectedness when reading your words. I’m so eager to learn from you in the upcoming weeks. It’s so important that we as women learn to resignify certain events in our lives that are so special, sacred, and unique to us. Kudos to you for embarking on this discussion.
I love the way you put it, Suzi. Resignifying our periods as sacred is definitely a mission of mine.
After a struggle with infertility, I find it very hard not to be a little sad when my period comes. Although we are not currently trying to conceive (and have since been blessed with IVF twins and a naturally conceived singleton), for so long it was a sad reminder that I was once again not pregnant.
Oh Laura, thank you for sharing. Our blood carries such significance for our lives as women. I’m so glad you were blessed with 3 sweet littles. Much love to you!
i too used birth control for a few years to help with acne, and I was told if I took the pill continuously I wouldn’t have my period, which I did for a while. But my libido went down the drain and my partenr and I actuallt really elt the negative effect of that. I switched to a copper IUD (no artifical hormones), and i couldn’t be happier with it. I can experience my natural cycle with no chemical interactions, and the IUD is on of the most efficient birth controls out there. I’ve only had to change it once in 10 years. As far as period goes, I never liked tampons, and used pads for the longest time until I got fed up with them and how non-environmental friendly they were. I switched to a menstrual cup, and once again, I,m never going back. I also rad a blog post recently (i can’t remember were), about a woman who managed to train her pelvic muscles to retain the blood in and would dispose of it everytime she went to the bathroom – no menstrual “tool” required. I aslo found out about menstrual underwear that you can just wash… anyways, there are so many different options out there, they all diserve to be looked at. thank you for writing this series!
Petite Josette, thank you for your share! I’m so glad to hear the copper IUD is working out for you so well, and that you like the menstrual cup. I’m super interested in this woman who trained her pelvic muscles. Do you have a link so I can learn more?
it was one of those random reads I came accross while blog hopping, so I can’t remember where, but I’ll look in my browser history…I’ll definitely give you the link when i find it!
in the meantime, take a look at this article, http://www.readingmytealeaves.com/2015/06/growing-minimalist-wardrobe-intimates.html
at the end she mentions three online companies that manufacture “period panties” – pretty sure it was through this post that I ended up reading about “free flow”…
Period panties! The most amazing invention of all time! I just got a pair of THINX myself. 🙂
It amazes me how I ended up on your post (I was just looking at your beautiful house on design sponge and clicked the link to your blog out of curiosity). After my third child, my doctor suggested using an IUD as contraception. I agreed, thinking of the convenience. However, after 4 years with the IUD, I asked to have it removed just this very week. I experienced the exact feelings that you spoke about. I felt disconnected from being a woman, just as you described. Your words make me tear up every time I read them. Its really amazing the way the universe works (the coincidence of ending up on your blog and all).
My sadness due to not having a period was not instigated by speaking to other women about their experiences, I just felt it in soul. I haven’t spoken to anyone about it in fact. I felt like maybe I would come off too wishy-washy. Even when I told my doctor the reason, she didn’t seem to understand. She thought I was talking about some physical symptoms (admittedly, I didn’t express myself very clearly). When in reality, the symptoms were existential.
I had the IUD removed, but now I am debating whether to take the prescription for the pill my doctor prescribed. It funny, because I asked the pharmacist whether I should wait to let my body go back to its regular cycle before taking the first dose, and he told me that I should start right away: A clinical point of view I guess. Your body’s natural cycle, or moon cycle, has no relevance in clinical care.
What do you think? Could it be possible to respect your moon cycle and be on the pill at the same time?
Sarah! What a little miracle it was that you landed here at just the right moment. I love how the universe does that 🙂
I also super appreciate your share, on so many levels. I had a really hard time convincing my doctor of why I wanted my IUD removed, and she used some shame tactics to make me believe I wasn’t responsible enough to be in charge of my own fertility (we do the rhythm and barrier method). But ultimately, I knew what was true in my own soul and it was to get the dang thing out of me.
I think it’s totally possible to feel connected to your femininity and moon cycle and be on the pill (though I have read some seriously concerning legitimate research on the long-term effects of taking the pill), but I ask you to check in with your body to know for sure. I think this is such an important (and fun!) topic to jam on so let me know! xo
Hey Becca,
Just a quick update: I finally decided to go on the pill, but I waited until I had my first period (post IUD), and then I took the first pill. I figured this was the closest I would come to following my natural cycle.
Months later, I feel pretty good emotionally. I noticed a difference almost right away, after the IUD was taken out. I have to admit that what I felt seemed like what depression is described as. A deep, and constant, feeling of despair. Now, I feel what I judge is a resonable level of sadness, and it isn’t constant. Which is a real relief.
I wondered if taking the pill, thus not being able to conceive, would be a factor in whether I would feel reconnected to my womanhood. In the end, I think having a cycle helps me feel that connectedness, and when I feel sadness about not being able to conceive, it’s more about wishing I could relive that period of my life over again as I feel like my babies are growing up too fast.
Thanks again for putting your message out there. It was exactly what I needed to hear at the opportune time.
I appreciate this update, Sarah! What truly matters to me is that you are engaging with your moon cycle, asking yourself the important questions, and – most importantly – FEELING all those feelings that are coming up. Sending you so much love <3
Thanks Becca, I really appreciate your replying to my posts.
I have never “enjoyed” my period and also spent a lot of time switching from one birth control to another. Recently I decided to get off them because I was tired of taking pills. It has been an adjustment.
Thank you for starting this series. I desperately want to not dislike my period. Thinking of it as something sacred as opposed to something to be dealt with is a shift. So I am excited to learn more.
Sweet Cherin, thank you for your share! Adjusting to life without birth control hormones can be intense. Are you getting any support in that? Like acupuncture, herbs, or body work? Your body IS sacred, sister. I believe it.
Yay!!!!!! I am OVER THE MOON happy when I see more females naturally move back into the natural rhythms of their selves and earth cycles. I’m the creator of My Moontime App and it’s my hope more females discover the ease and joy of tapping back into their inherent moon cycles. xoxo
Oh oh, I’ve got your app on my phone, Dana. It’s so lovely! Thank you for stopping by 🙂
Oh I just so love this topic. I too have always had really bad cramps with my period. I was on the pill for way to long which caused health problems. For me now I am 44 years old & just now coming into this knowing. I feel our society has really caused most of these problems & how we view our cycles. My belief system on this is changing & I definitely feel a major difference with my cycles. Just reading this article is totally helping us women (& men) change the thinking & the consciousness of this subject so keep it coming, once it’s out there there’s no stopping it!!!! YAY!!! Namaste
I so agree, Dawn! Thank you for sharing a piece of your story here. We just gotta keep talking about it so we know there isn’t only one way (pain and misery).
I was an early bloomer, which runs in my family. My mother was 11, my big sister was 9, I was also 11 when I started bleeding every month. My flow has always been heavy, painful, and long. Sometimes it will be 8 or more days before I am completely finished. In recent years, I’ve had trouble with extraneous pain, spotting, pain during intercourse, and irregular periods. Doctors tell me it’s all normal and just part of getting older. I don’t feel like this is normal, healthy, or something I should just “deal with.” I worry that I might be developing PCOS or Endometriosis or something else life-altering and scary. Since the last time my ob/gyn told me to “suck it up, buttercup” I have lost my insurance. I spoke with doctors at planned parenthood about my concerns, and they told me that they could put me on birth control to try and alleviate the symptoms but as far as getting to the root of the cause they can’t help me. I’ve tried a few different over the counter supplements – inositol made my bleeding heavier, longer, and more painful, Vitex/Chaste tree has helped somewhat with the cramping and spotting but if anything my sensitivity and pain during intercourse anytime in the two weeks surrounding my cycle are even more pronounced, as are other PMS symptoms like breast tenderness and mood swings.
So I guess you could say my relationship with my period has been a somewhat tumultuous one. On a positive note, though; Last year my husband bought me THINX period panties for Christmas, and they have CHANGED MY LIFE!! I still have lots of issues, but I feel much more confidant and secure than I ever did with pads and I have less trouble with infections around my time of the month. I highly recommend them.
Oh Jamie, I didn’t see this comment when I replied to your other one. What a rollercoaster you’ve been on. I encourage you to keep seeking out alternative forms of regulation – including herbs, diet, and healers like acupuncturists and herbalists. We’re with you, sister!
Also OMG THINX is so good!
I am not yet married but my period is mostly very late kindly kind huide how to get on time with good blood follow, I am really tensed