One question I’m often asked is about how to cultivate deeper relationships with women, especially if you are an introvert or live in an area where there doesn’t seem to be a lot of creative, conscious ladies to connect with.
I find this topic of sisterhood fascinating, because it’s something every woman wants (to feel deeply connected to and not judged by other women), yet so many struggle with finding it.
Some women find it easier to open up and find kindred spirits in online communities, and see their local community as competitive and catty.
Some women are simply in different life stages from another (being single, motherhood, or retirement), making it harder to connect when you aren’t all in that same stage together or have to dig to find things in common.
Some women are super introverted, and putting themselves out there feels super scary for them.
...and some women who grew up with mothers who didn't feel safe being vulnerable around other women and emulated isolation, fear, and judgement with women instead of compassionate sisterhood.
Regardless of your personality type, life circumstances, or geographic location, you have the ability to connect more deeply with women in your community.
I’ve talked about the power of sisterhood before - how we have lost the art of communing with women and how creating together in sisterhood is an ancient practice.
A woman’s true transformation cannot occur in complete isolation. It’s more powerful in the context of community. Community is vital to feeling that belongingness. And a sense of belongingness with other women is key to a woman's well being. Most women don't realize they need it until they get it - Maria Molfino
Knowing that sisterhood is a vital component of your own well-being, it’s worth putting in a little work to cultivate it for yourself.
I like to think of a community of supportive sisters as a tall, strong redwood tree.
But that redwood tree didn’t begin it’s life that big and tall and strong. It started as a little seed, that needed water, fertile soil, and sunlight to grow.
In order for you to grow your redwood tree of sisterhood, you’ve got to tend to your seed.
The water is saying yes to invitations when they come (which might mean moving around your schedule to make it happen and not letting it slip away in a flurry of rainchecks), the fertile soil is being brave and asking that cute, fun girl in your yoga class out to coffee or tea after class, and the sunlight is complimenting her on social media or sending her an email checking in on her a few weeks after you’ve met. The compost could be, instead of wishing you had a group of women you could meet with every full moon, is starting one yourself - on your living room rug with a potluck and chai (even if it’s only 3 people in the beginning).
Where your attention goes, energy flows is one of my favorite sayings, because it’s sooooo true.
Yes, we’re all busy, but if you really want a deeper relationship with women, it starts with you. It doesn’t need to take up too much time, but the reward is nourishment on the soul level.
I want to hear from you!
For those of you who struggle with this, what gets in the way of cultivating sisterhood in your life?
For those of you who feel like you have a wonderful community of sisters, what did you do to cultivate it?
Share your thoughts and insights in the comments below.
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