This episode covers such an important topic that so many womxn have confided in me about on my retreats and in our work together: a complicated relationship with patriarchal Christianity and a fear of engaging with spirit in a different way.
I asked Barbara Erochina to come on the podcast with me to talk this out because she is a real deal expert on this.
Barbara used to be an Evangelical Christian—once on the path to becoming a pastor—who has wandered on the journey to belonging and now works with a purpose of deep spirituality, liberation (especially queer liberation and love). She is an emotional wellness coach and a non-religious spiritual leader. Formally trained in psychotherapy, ministry, and coaching, Barbara offers emotional and spiritual support through one on one coaching, couples and group work, writing, teaching, ritual, and facilitation. In this episode of Belonging, we talk about Barbara's story of immigrating to Canada from Russian, becoming an Evangelical Christian, and having to let go of that sense of belonging in her community when she came out of the closet and decided to leave the Evangelical Church.
Barbara really walks up to that uncomfortable edge with me of examining each of our desires to explore spirituality and divinity and freedom of others to express their relationship to spirit in whatever way feels right for them, while at the same time recognizing that Christianity perpetuates incredibly harmful and oppressive systems within our world.
This episode isn't an "anti-Christianity" call-out, but just as we examine our relationships with White Supremacy, and Colonization, and Cultural Appropriation, and Racism, and the ways our ancestors have, we have, and we still do perpetuate these things, Barbara and I invite you to gently begin to examine your belief systems with self-compassion so that we aren't continuing to hand down the harmful aspects that have spiraled out of these institutions.
"You don't owe your coming out—whether that's queerness or coming out of a faith—you don't owe what you believe in your spiritual evolution to anyone." -Barbara Erochina
Resources:
More from Barbara Erochina:
- bewith.org
- @bewithcards on Instagram
- bewithweddings.com
- @bewithweddings on Instagram
- The Way Home Retreat
What’s your relationship to patriarchal religion vs spirit?
Credit for the phrase "be a good ancestor" goes to Arianna of Quw'utsun' Made
Oh my! I’m so touched by this episode. It resonated deep within my bones.
I grew up in a very loving Christian household. I chose to leave Christianity at 19, and coming out to my parents as a pluralist was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
I now identify as Unitarian Universalist and Buddhist, and constantly grapple with what it means to be in communion with the Divine/God. Buddhism has really opened my eyes to the Divine nature within myself, whereas I felt Christianity taught me that my human-ness was inherently evil. And my upbringing wasn’t even THAT extreme! It just goes to show how internalized and self-imposed some of these religious harms can be.
I still love and relate to Jesus in so many ways, it’s just the church and religion – which I believe he would be horrified by – that I struggle with. Of course I also struggle with this notion that God only took 1 human form.
Not every Christian subscribes to these ideas, and there are so many ways to be a Christian. I think it’s important to remember that, and to sit with the impulse to blanketly judge religions. I’ve had to sit with this for 10 years and it’s still teaching me compassion and how to be honestly and openly myself.
Thank you for a fantastic conversation which I so strongly needed to hear!
I’m so glad this episode resonated so strongly with you, Ellen. And thank you for sharing your story. I love that we can give folks permission to connect with spirit in their own ways.