stop chasing perfection

The way I see it, dabbling is an exercise in getting present and banishing perfection.

For most of my life, I’d been chasing perfection. Perfection felt like that state we were all expected (and expected others) to reach in all areas of life (body, work, relationship, home, etc).

But what does perfect really mean? I’ve found that my idea of perfect was based on someone else’s body or circumstances, and was completely unrealistic from the start. There is no one state of perfection, and often when I ask my clients what perfect is, they point to someone else (who I assure them is feeling far from perfect themselves).

So when I began to measure my happiness levels up against my ability to achieve perfection, I saw a huge disconnect. Perfect didn’t make my soul sing, my eyes sparkle, or my digestion better.

That is why I believe in dabbling and stand so strongly behind its ability to heal and inspire you. So often, I come across women who admire the work I do but find reasons not to try it themselves. Their excuses include:

I’m not very crafty.
I’m not into the whole DIY thing.
I’m terrible with that stuff, I just know I would mess it up.

You know what I tell these women? I’m don’t consider myself crafty either!

I have “messed up” so many projects over the years (added too much salt to the cookie batter, mixed too many paints to create a brownish puke color, followed all the steps and it looked nothing like what I saw on Pinterest), but that’s not the point.

The whole point of dabbling is the DOING. {click to tweet}

The getting your hands messy.
Stirring the ingredients together until they start to foam and froth.
Inhaling of aromas you’ve never encountered in your life before.
Realizing you can tie a bow like that and it actually looks pretty cool.
Understanding that you want that flower stem here instead of there just because.

...and then you realize it’s been 20 minutes and you haven’t thought about that aggressive email from your coworker, what’s going on in your Facebook feed, how big your stomach looks, or whether or not this thing looks the way it’s supposed to.

Detaching your focus from the outcome and connecting more deeply to your intuition is the dabbling equation that opens the door to a greater experience of life. You feel empowered, calmer, inspired, {and often times total ecstasy}.

When I’m guiding women through a dabble (either virtually or in-person with my creative day retreats), my role is to remind them that there is no wrong way to do what they are doing and to follow their intuition to find the way that works for them. Sometimes I need to repeat this several times but once it sinks in, the magic begins. The women start to trust themselves and get busy. The desire for perfection and feelings of judgement, and insecurity leave the room.

So the next time you are reading through one of my blog posts, a cookbook, or scrolling through Pinterest, you're inspired to try a project but that little voice of perfection comes up, remember the point of dabbling is the doing. Take a deep breath, clear off your kitchen table, and trust the dabbling process.

Paint that canvas

Arrange those flowers

Blend some essential oils

Bake and frost that cake

You can’t mess it up, because the process is worth every second you spend dabbling.

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