Do you hold yourself back by not asking for help?

you can do anything but you cannot do everything

Photo credit: Wendy Yalom

When I was a little girl, one of my favorite phrases was “me do it.”

When getting in an elevator, I wanted to push the button for our floor.
When making pancakes for breakfast, I wanted to crack the eggs and measure out the flour.
When cleaning the house, I wanted to push the vacuum – even when it was too big for my little body.

This may seem like typical toddler behavior, but it sticks out in my mind because, as I grew older, me and my family would use this phrase to bring greater meaning and context to my desire to be a strong, independent woman. One who had the ability to get sh*t done and didn’t need any help.

That “me do it” mentality served me well.

I performed well in school, figured out time management at an early age, had several jobs before the age of 18, have written extensive business plans and financial models in business school, went from earning $30k to $100k in 3 years, and even figured out how to poach an egg {which takes some serious practice, I tell ya}.

I felt like I cracked the code on being a modern, independent woman. One who didn’t let anything get in her way.

Except, this ability to get sh*t done and not needing any help eventually slams you into a wall.

Because, despite how smart and capable you are, you’re still a human. A person in a body that needs sleep, nourishment, down time, and play to function and thrive.

Realizing this limitation can be super frustrating for an ambitious woman with big dreams and a hunger for more.

I find that many women come to this realization when they start businesses or have a baby (or both!) – this feeling of not being able to do everything, and inwardly shaming themselves for not being superwoman. I felt that way when I was working in my corporate marketing job – consistently getting frustrated with myself for feeling exhausted, sick, and overwhelmed with everything that was on my plate.

And now that I am running a growing business that I care deeply about, those feelings and frustrations were starting to come up for me once more.

I have been a one-woman show (with help from amazing friends every once in a while) for nearly 3 years, and the “me do it” little girl inside of me took pride in being able to steer the ship on her own. But late last year, it became clear to me that it was simply no longer possible for me to do it all without sacrificing my well-being, which wasn’t making much sense since that wouldn’t be me walking my talk of living a present, grounded life.

I believe very much in the quote from Gandhi to “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

So a few weeks ago, I added a new member to Team Dabblist!

Her name is Jess, she lives in Vermont (we work together virtually), and she is amazingly supportive in helping me grow The Dabblist into what I envision it to be. Her assistance helps free up my time so I can dabble more and be of service to the women who work with me.

I have also delegated in other areas of my life – from house cleaning to booking hair and car appointments to farm box and meal delivery. And the best part about embracing outsourcing in your life is it isn’t necessarily as expensive as you might imagine it to be. Plus the time and energy you get back makes for a happier, healthier, more productive you. A Cup of Jo just posted a list of the great companies that are making life easier for all of us, and more of them pop up everyday!

What about you?

Are you finding yourself frustrated that you can’t do it all? Is it hard for you to ask for help? Have you recently gotten help and has it totally blown your mind like it did for me?

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